wallow

My life is a mess. I have become callous and insensitive. I come late to work and appointments, unmindful of the people waiting for me to arrive.

I have become numb and unfeeling. I don't care as much for people anymore. I don't ask questions, and I don't want to hear answers.

I have become lazy and irresponsible. This body that used to rise at 6am, now keeps me in bed till 10am -- on a weekday! :O

I have lost my self-control. I play computer games when I want to play computer games -- even if I have to wake up early the next day.

I have become mediocre and ordinary. Excellence is no longer a way of life. I am now content to sit on the sidelines instead of leading a group towards improvement and change.

I have become reclusive. I shun company fearing people would wear me out.

I have become fearful. I have lost my adventurous spirit. I am now afraid to try new things. I am scared of failure, of making mistakes, of being vulnerable.

I have become sadder with each passing year. Only seldom do I now appreciate the stars that embellish the sky, or the moon that adorns the heavens. I have lost the song in my heart.

My life is a mess. Only God can help me now.