moving...

i'm thinking of moving my blog to multiply, since i have most of my pics there.

freedom!

He came to set the captives free...
happy independence day to me! ;)

sink or swim

sometimes i feel like i'm in the middle of the ocean without any lifeline; but who knows -- maybe God is teaching me how to swim.

amazing love (part 2)

"Amazing love, oh what sacrifice,
the Son of God, given for me.
My debt He paid
and my death He died,
that I might live,
that I might live."

---

i have heard the medley of both "amazing love" songs by acapella praise several years back, and i must say that it was very lovely ;)

amazing love

"Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?"

farewell to a "feet"-ful friend

tonight, i say goodbye to a friend who has been faithful to me for more than 5 years. she who has been with me through hours of walking down the streets of kuala lumpur. she who has trudged the minnesotan snow with me one halloween night. she who has boosted my confidence on countless client meetings. she who has rejoiced with me on several weddings.

even in her last hour, she did not let me down. she made sure i was safe home before she breathed her last. i will remember her long after she is gone.

(pardon the melodramatics, i have just watched 300 with my friends :P )

i'm talking about my favorite pair of sandals, of course :P tonight, i saw that the soles were breaking apart and beyond repair. it's just sad, because i've grown attached to this particular pair. it's the first pair of sandals i've ever bought with my own money. you can say that i could just as easily buy a replacement, but shoe-shopping has never been easy for me. i hate shoes that can pass off as lethal weapons (death to stilettos!), so my choices are very limited. i hope i can find a suitable replacement soon, as i'm attending another wedding a few weeks from now.

i will surely miss my sandals. my next pair will have some big shoes to fill ;)

buko ni fruitas

my latest craving, discovered when k.dei and i watched the free sugarfree concert in eastwood last january 13.

the different "flavors" of buko ni fruitas -- buko fruit salad (the ones i bought in paseo had strawberry and lychee), buko halo-halo, buko strawberry, buko mangga

sleepless

here is a poem i wrote last year, at a major point in my life. and since i changed my blog title, i thought that this would make an appropriate "first" post.

---

sleepless
(5/21/2006)

i'm losing sleep over you
and i don't know what to do
you're an itch i can't scratch
a butterfly i can't catch
a dream that i want to come true

i'm losing sleep over you
and there's not much i can do
but to lie awake at night
wishing i may, wishing i might

i'm losing sleep over you
and there's nothing i can do
but to wait
and hope
and lose sleep
over you

skirts and stops

i wore a short skirt some days ago. i was not in the mood to iron any slacks, and there was this skirt that my cousin gave me that i haven't worn ever.

i just found it amusing that guys seem to notice me more when i'm wearing a skirt. and i don't even have nice legs (blame it on genetics and the overly long lines in the Math building) ;) in 5 minutes, i had 3 taxis stop in front of me, when ordinarily it would take me around 7 minutes just to flag one. it seemed like i became a taxi magnet all of a sudden :P of course, i had to flag 3 taxis before one agreed to take me to the office (which was quite far from our house). gasoline and traffic were still more compelling than a girl in a short skirt. or maybe my charm wasn't enough :P

oh yeah, on my way home, the eyes of a driver in the tricycle stop followed my legs as i walked by :P

under construction

i am in the process of renovating my site. however, i'm also procrastinating (too many games to play), so please bear with me ;) now, if i can only figure out blogspot's new codes...

not my usual Christmas

i had noticed some things that were different in the way our family prepared for and celebrated last Christmas:

* i did not buy a Christmas present for myself. ever since i got a job, i would always buy a present for myself on special occasions. i would even buy something for myself just because :P it was my way of pampering myself. last Christmas was different in that i only bought presents for my family, roommates and him. maybe i was not in the mood for any, since i was resigned to the fact that i could not have what i really wanted that time. :(

* i did not make the buko pandan salad for noche buena. it was a time-honored tradition that i was the one who made dessert on special occasions. well, i suppose i kinda did that time, since i prepared the ingredients (and ate a few strips of buko here and there), but it was my brother who mixed everything together. it was his first time to help out with the noche buena preparations, and it was really nice that he is actually volunteering to help. maybe it was time that somebody else carry on the tradition of making the dessert. ;)

* my sister's boyfriend joined us for noche buena. it was the first time that an "extension" joined us for the noche buena. it was unusual, but not really a biggie, though it made me wish i was celebrating noche buena with a specific "extension" at that time. ;)

* i treated my 15-year-old brother to a few hours of DotA. it was our first DotA game together. since it was Christmas, there weren't too many people in the internet cafes, so we were able to use some terminals in the internet shop several blocks away from our house. too bad that we did not know where my two nephews (ages 9 and 11) were playing that time. they left the house an hour earlier than us (it took me long to finish my bath :P ). i had wanted to play DotA with the boys for several months now. but i promised them that i will treat them to a DotA game or two if they make it to their class' top 10. by the way, my bro beat me in the first game, as i didn't know how to play Tiny. but i beat him in the next 2 games after that. ;)

* i brought home my ps2 karaoke revolution, and it was the first time my siblings played with it. it was surprising that they enjoyed it more than my ps2 dance dance revolution games. my brother and nephews were even singing the oldies like Jackson 5's ABC. :O

* i wasn't outside the house at the stroke of midnight on new year's day. i guess it was plain laziness on my part. i didn't want anything to do with firecrackers anyway, and the noise was making my ears hurt.

* most of my relatives didn't visit us on new year's day, as they used to do. i had hoped they would visit because i miss my neice/godchild. i learned that she and her mother were sick. also, one of my favorite cousins got married last year and was in australia with her husband, so she wasn't able to come. even my grandmother (my last surviving grandparent) wasn't able to visit. :(

i wonder if these things are signs of what is to come. things will inevitably change: my siblings and i will hopefully get married, have our own families, grow old. but i hope we will still celebrate special occasions, like Christmas, together as a family.

four "sugarfree" years

sugarfree is one of my favorite bands. their music reminds me of eraserheads (another favorite). their songs are melodious, though half won't give you an LSS. but the lyrics! the lyrics are something else. what i really, really like about them is that they are "singing my life with (their) words". so here are four years of my life, as told by sugarfree:

2003

• huling gabi
• unang araw
• kung ayaw mo na sa akin
• martir

2004

• tummy ache
• hari ng sablay
• kailan ka ba?

2005

• kwentuhan
• kwarto
• nangangawit
• burnout
• alinlangan
• sinta

2006

• hintay
• wag ka ng umiyak
• ikaw pala

baby's 2nd birthday

my baby is now two "years" old! he does not take after me, he's more fair-skinned. actually, he's pale -- with yellow and blue "blotches". no, he's not sick nor extra-terrestrial. and two-"issues"-old is more appropriate. i'm talking about our company's newsletter, of course :P

i joined the company's newsletter team early this year because i was getting bored with my work (and i wanted to relive my glory days as editor-in-chief of our high school newsletter harhar :P ) but i'm not "editor-in-chief" of this particular newsletter. my official title is "coordinator/proofreader", since part of the bargain is that i wouldn't be required to write (i'm too lazy to even post on my blog often, let alone the company's ;) ) we had our maiden issue last august . the 2nd issue was last november. the 2nd issue was meatier, and we got more people to contribute articles -- which was really nice, because there was less pressure for me to come up with filler articles (i wrote 7 short articles for the maiden issue, out of sheer desperation :P ).

for the 3rd issue, which will probably be out by february, i'm thinking of dropping the "proofreader" part of my job description. you see, i'm also the content administrator. and sometimes i'm not able to proofread the articles well, especially when the deadline is near, and the contributors have just submitted their articles :P i don't like spreading myself too thinly (i'm so thin to begin with :P ), and i want to do my job as well as i can.

the Bible says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (james 1:17) this is one of those good things that God has given me lately for which i am thankful for.

mini-boss in another foreign land: land of the rising sun

i went to japan last week. it was neither a job-hunting trip nor a sightseeing tour. i was there on official business -- to gather requirements for some of the projects we will be doing for our clients in japan.

since i am too lazy to write, i will just quote some emails i sent while i was there.

---

i'm already here in japan :P my flight was delayed for almost 2 hours. the client wondered why i was detained at the ticket counter -- he thought my booking was good and that there was no need for a ticket number. anyway, i didn't wanna think about whose fault it was anymore, although i really wanted to cry! because aside from the hassle about my ticket, it was already boarding time when i passed immigration, so i had to run towards the last security check. then, the flight was delayed because of some bad weather somewhere, so they had to come up with a new flight plan. when it was approved, they found out that one of the plane's computer systems was broken! my gulay! i think it was already 10am when we left manila.

my first authentic japanese noodles!
soba with radish and mushroom -- yum-yum!

of course, i was nervous when i disembarked. i had no roaming signal, i lost my contact numbers and i was late for our agreed meeting time. the client and i agreed before that he would meet me at the airport. i wasn't sure if i should go directly to the hotel, since it has been 2 hours since our agreed meeting time. i wasn't sure if i could go directly to the hotel, because the room was reserved under his name. i had exchanged some of my money to yen because i thought of calling him. the problem was i couldn't figure out the vending machine for the call card nor the public pay phone. i went back to the information counter to ask if they knew the airport control center phone number, because i thought i would just look for the client there. good thing i saw him! apparently he went back to meet me because he knew my flight was delayed.

anyway, we went straight to the office for some meetings and stuff. then we left the office to go to the hotel around 5:45. we got here around 6:30 (had to wait for the shuttle). we ate at 6:40 at the sports bar downstairs. i think we talked for about 3 hours, about work and life in general. it's hard to speak english for three straight hours :P anyway, i have to get up early tomorrow. and i'm already hungry now :P i might play first in a little while, and then i'll take a shower. i'll also eat a cup of noodles because i'm really hungry already :P

anyway, i hope it would be better on my flight back. it's already cold here -- it's a good thing that i brought my jacket. my room is lovely; it even has complimentary internet :P good night :)

---

i'm here in my parents' house. i've unpacked some of the stuff, as i would be leaving some here coz i'm bringing home my laptop first.

i flew first class! the client upgraded me. the food was really good, and you can tilt your lazy-boy seat way back. we talked about many things. i didn't get to sleep coz i watched "john tucker must die" (though i didn't finish it) after talking with my boss for a long time.

i panicked when i got to manila, coz my phone's battery is almost empty, and my mom wasn't responding to my text or call. i texted her earlier that i had low battery, so she didn't text me. anyway, i figured that if they were there, they'll probably be in the parking lot, as my dad hates traffic and the hassle of waiting for me by the curb. i slept all the way back home, though i was sweating coz i've just been to an autumn weather, and you know how hot it could be in manila (also i was wearing a turtleneck blouse).

anyway, i might be coming to work after lunch tomorrow, as i'm really tired today, and the buses here take so long to get moving, as the drivers are still waiting for passengers. the client doesn't really need me in the office anyway, since we've talked about work for 3 days now, and discussed most of his plans for our team.

i'll sleep in a little while. i'm really so tired. i'm just charging my cell so that i'll have an alarm clock to use :P good night.

halloween in a foreign land

around this time last year, i went to my first "authentic" halloween party. sure, we've had halloween parties when i was child. i usually dressed up as a white lady, because it was easiest, and together with my siblings and cousins, danced the night away to the tune of the latest 80's disco songs in the glow of our christmas tree's blinking lights.

but last year was different, because i was in the foreign land, and they sure took halloween seriously over there. in the office where i worked, the adults wore costumes to work. there was one woman who dressed up as scare crow. one manager wore a grim reaper costume. another man wore a beach outfit (and it was autumn and freezing outside). well, nobody made rounds in the cubes asking for treats, but outside, kids made rounds trick-or-treating.

that night, we gathered in our boss' house for the halloween party. most of my officemates had "unscary" costumes because some of the parents requested that we don't frighten the kids with our costumes (they usually bring their kids to our parties).

what did i wear? there was this red dress i brought with me to the foreign land, and i was just dying to wear it. i thought the halloween party was a good excuse, so i thought i'd go as a red fairy :P i had also been itching to do something creative for the longest time, and i thought, i'd just make my fairy accessories from scratch (i think i was the only one in that party who made his own costume/paraphernalia).

i bought some red and green and silver ribbons from wal-mart, several little red fabric roses, and some silver wires. i fashioned a headdress and bracelet. and what is a fairy without a wand? i turned a pair of chopsticks into a wand. now that's what i call, "magic" ;)

i'm not sure if i looked silly that night (my friends assured me that i did not, but they were my friends), but what the heck? it was halloween after all, and i sure was having fun :)

"i've [got] my mojo!"

i've finally bought a pair of those rubber sandals i've always wanted since college. :D back then, we called them "mojos" (i think "mojo" is the brand that was sold in the university shopping center). but this particular pair, i bought in a sports shop in the mall, and was of a different brand. the straps are blue, and the base, black. on the underside, it's got an interesting pattern of a red gecko (or some other lizard).

it's nice to be able to buy the things you don't necessarily need ;)

wisdom comes at a painful cost

i had my first surgery today. my second wisdom tooth was growing, and it was causing me pain for several days now. it was so painful that last wednesday i went to my dentist, dra. grace, to have a checkup. she told me that there was an oricardial (not sure if i spelled it correctly) tissue that was on top of my erupting second tooth, and that it had to be removed. she said that the surgery will only take 30 minutes, but she recommends that it be done after office hours. i had it scheduled on saturday, since i had a ton of work to do, juggling 3 projects with a different project manager for each. yesterday, however, it was really painful even if i had already taken a pain reliever (mefenamic acid, 500mg), and i was having trouble concentrating because of it. i texted a.grace and asked if it was possible to have the surgery moved the earlier because i couldn't take it anymore.

i had my surgery around 12PM. she injected anesthesia into my gums, and let it settle for a while. i kinda like the feeling of anesthesia working -- my gums felt swollen and kinda numb (how can you feel your numb body part? :P ). it also prevented me from screaming out in pain when she did her stuff (i had my eyes closed the whole time, i didn't want to see what sharp thing she has on her hands 'coz i might faint :P ). my hands were also clutching the armrests hard, 'coz i was really, really scared (have i mentioned that i am deathly afraid of scalpels and other sharp objects?). there was just a sensation when she started cutting through the tissue. some minutes passed, however, and i started feeling pain already. ate grace was surprised that the anesthesia had worn off quickly. but the surgery was not finished yet, so she gave me another dose.

after more than thirty minutes of slicing and tugging and what-have-you, the surgery was finally over. she used a dressing that was like reverse bubblegum -- soft and pliable at first, but eventually hardened and covered the wound.

despite the pain and the stress, there were some things to be thankful for:

* doc gj (a. grace's husband) drove me home, door-to-door delivery. it was a good thing because 1) i couldn't speak (it was painful with the anesthesia wearing off, and i didn't want to spew blood all over my shirt) so i couldn't call a cab 2) free fare ;)
* rom was in the house when i came back, and he graciously bought my medicine for me.
* nez came home early and cooked my dinner for me (mushroom soup and soft fluffy scrambled eggs)

i hope i don't go through the same ordeal for my other wisdom teeth.

---

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
-- Lamentations 3:22-23

me?! a what?!

family picture taken new year's eve 2005
i attended my former church in the province at my father's behest because the pastor was going to pray for our family. if you knew my father, you'd know that i couldn't possibly turn down that request. so there i was, that sunday morning, attending that church with my whole family. when it was prayer time, a woman prayed for each of us sisters. and did you know what she said to me? "my child, you have a special calling. you are called to be a missionary."

i was dumbfounded. call it delusion, but i have always known i was destined for something great. but a missionary?! i have lectured a few times in a missions class (being a graduate of that same course), and missions is close to my heart, but i thought i was more of a mobilizer/trainer -- than an actual "goer". oh well, we'll see...

five things you probably don't know about me

I got tagged by mismo. So here's my list of five things you probably don't know about me:

1. superman returns is the first superman movie that i've watched from beginning to end.
2. i talk in my sleep.
3. i hate stepping on sewers and manhole covers, and i try my best to avoid them as much as possible.
4. i can eat sinigang on several consecutive meals.
5. i wanted to be an artist / fashion designer when i was in elementary.

bituing marikit, tap dancer, nunaynunay, jean grey... it's your turn :P

the land of smiles

my friends from the office and i went to thailand over the weekend. since i'm too lazy, i'll just let someone else tell the story :P